When Baby NUMBER 9 joined our family Part 2

After I had "the dream" and the confirmation from my husband that adoption was in our future. I was like a CRAZY woman in search for a child that was "out there" some where.   In my mind there was a child already born in this world some where that would become a part of our family and I had to find her! I couldn't put the brakes on at this point. Once I make a decision and the green light comes on then I am full speed ahead!  

There are SO many roads to adoption. Domestic adoption is when you adopt within the USA and at the time I was certain I did NOT want to  be a part of. I did not want to know our birth families! (ha...this makes me laugh now!)  

Most domestic adoptions are newborn adoptions and I felt pretty sure our child was born and I didn't really feel called to adopt a new born. There is also foster/adoption. This is where you go through your state and foster children. The goal in this is reunification with the parents. Sometimes the parents do not reunite and then adoption becomes a plan. I personally think I would have liked to have gone this route. When we talked about this and prayed about it, our children felt so sure they did NOT want to go this way.  There is also international adoption. This is where you go outside of your country to adopt.  Even though my dream had a Caucasian girl, I was pretty sure we would go international! UNTIL....I did my own praying!!!

Quickly I felt led to domestic adoption and I was so puzzled by this because the agency we talked with first told me how hard this would be unless we were willing to go through foster/adopt. As we prayed domestic felt right. Against my own desires to go out of the country, domestic became our goal. There is NO timeline with domestic adoption. It is just get ready, get set, and WAIT! 

I was so frustrated by the "system" in the USA. We went through the entire classes locally and trained. We opted out of a FREE homestudy that was offered by the state and paid for one through the agency because that's what we thought was the right thing to do as we researched. Later we discovered that you actually should get BOTH. You need to get a state one so that you are able to adopt children that are in state care and you need a private one so that you can adopt children that with private agencies! I NEVER dreamed there was such  a big deal.  In the end we had this homestudy that we paid for that we could only use with private agencies and some states across the USA. I began submitting it myself across the state for children that were available for adoption that I found on state websites that are located on adoptuskids. If you have not checked out that website, it is so sad!  

I ran into BRICK wall after BRICK wall. We had too many kids for this child. We had too many boys for this one, too many girls for this one,  not enough space in our home for this one, no response on many, this child couldn't have any animals with a family, this child could only go to a family with a mom, this child could only be adopted to a family with a dad.  I was really confused. I continued to pray and honestly every search I used the birthday. I just knew this little girl had to be born on this day. It was stuck in my head!  

I was so confused how a family would be so called to adopt. We became adopt "ready" and "waiting" and then BOOM nothing. Our hearts were open, soft, and willing to answer a HUGE calling but nothing was happening. We saved money. We looked at different options. I tried to ignore the calling. I laid in bed at night and wondered if there is not a child available then why won't this feeling go away. We have four beautiful healthy children. We have more than enough. Why more! Why is the feeling and need so strong that our family is to grow again. Why is the desire so strong and it was not even there months before?

I took my concerns to my knees. I wanted immediate answers but I got nothing!  Apparently waiting is not my TALENT!!!

Psalms 27:14

14" Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Join me NEXT time on the BLOG for Part 3!!!!!